Children and family development


By Beba Zarate

Communication is that key factor in language development especially for young children. Because during this critical learning period the child is an open book ready to learn and absorb all the knowledge the parents provide for them. The purpose is to reinforce their abilities and capacities that will help them in their socio-emotional development in life through imitation and repetition. Its important to mention that parents are responsible for the learning process. Highlighting that the parents are the first teachers of the child in the microsystem called family. An essential capacity the child needs to learn and develop is the communication skills. It is very important to establish and practice assertive dialogue, positive messages to express the basic needs, thoughts, feelings and emotions.

What breaks the communication skills. The causes vary from one situation or family, the main factors are:

• Limiting beliefs

• Negative experiences such as verbal abuse, criticize, judge, not allow to speak or make an opinion, humiliate, minimize message etc.,

 • Learned behavior patterns in childhood might be reflected in adult life creating conflict in raising children.

• Inflexibility, hard to establish an assertive and democrat dialogue.

• One way communication meaning not having the opportunity to express the basic needs, talk about the conflict or situation resulting in feeling confused and frustrated

Characteristic that impacts negatively an assertive and democratic communication channel in the family?

• I am the one who speaks

• I am your mother/father

• Do what I say

• Do not argue with me that’s how I learned and that’s how my parents did.

Strategies to promote communication in the family Try to create awareness and apply the following:

 • It is recommended to promote communication and active listening that invites to a positive dialogue base on the effectiveness, validity of emotions, love and respect

• Must be consistent with what you feel, think and say

• Communication must be: assertive, positive, clear and concrete. Key words are how, why, when and what

• Practice active communication and good listening

• Make effort to create spaces to establish positive dialogues and active communication

• Repeat the messages as many times as necessary( having in mind child age, situation or circumstances)

Beba Zarate
Family coach, Teacher and Behavior Specialist
Instagram: @vamos_aplaticar
Whatsapp: 619.496.3900


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